Jonita Gass

"Baby, could you pick up my prescription when you get off work?"

"Mom... you know the State Store is closed by the time I get off"...

I never thought that I was going to be a comedienne (all comediennes are writers). In high school, I was voted most likely to break up a marriage. Instead I became a drunk. I played that role for about ten years; to the hilt.

When I finally sobered up (eight years of sobriety), I picked up a pen and began to tell the stories that make us laugh out loud as we celebrate the birth of their characters.

As a child, I often listened to my relatives reminisce about the past. I was always mesmerized by the way they weaved and recanted their stories. Writing is my opportunity to honor this legacy and to keep it alive. The vernacular of African American people is rich, vibrant and colorful, and it is my wish to continue to record and document it.

Every summer Eliot would come visit his grandpa from Boston. Eli would drop off Eliot and we would play together. We'd play Hide and Seek in the caskets. The cheap ones that were in the basement. We both knew not to mess with the top of the line couches. We were like brother and sister.

Anyway, it was the summer that I had my first period. Do you see where I'm going with this? My little nubs had turned into ample breasts - full and firm. You know what I'm saying? He returned that summer a man. He was sixteen and looked like Marlon from the Jackson Five. he drove himself over that hot sticky summer. He walked into the funeral parlor, and my heart stopped. He was silky smooth, and he smelled of High Karate.

He came by everyday and it didn't take long before we were playing in the caskets again, but it wasn't Hide and Seek. It was more like Show and Swell, if you get my drift. When we finally decided to do "IT" for the first time, we wanted it to be special so we got in the Mach V Supreme Deluxe Couch. She was a beauty, soft mattress, silk lining, the works.

from Magic Mona, 1996